The Four Wings of Personal Growth Lessons on self-love, self-awareness, self-care and self-empowerment

Sunday, May 26, 2019

Day 36 - Forgiveness

In order for forgiveness to occur ....something has to die.
I heard this in a conversation between Oprah and Brené Brown yesterday and it really resonated with me.
Forgiveness is something that has always eluded me.  I can't say I quite understand the concept.
For a long time, I thought it meant just moving on and letting go of the hurt from the past.
A big part seemed to be forgetting what someone had done to hurt me in order to maintain the relationship. It seemed selfish to hold on to past pain and not move on.
But I realized that in doing that I was sometimes opening myself up to being hurt again.  And I was also often expecting the person who had hurt me to be different after I forgave them.  Like my forgiveness would be some kind of catalyst for outer change.
But it doesn't work that way.
So what does have to die for forgiveness to occur?
I think when BrenĂ© talks about death she is equating it with grieving.  And I think part of the process of forgiveness involves grieving our own pain.  Not just shoving it down and pretending it did not happen because that would suit those around us or even ourselves.  It means honouring the fact that we have been hurt and that we have a right to sadness, anger and even feelings of hatred.  These are normal emotions when someone betrays us mentally, emotionally or physically.  We have to allow the process of grief, of feeling our emotions, our pain.  Just like we would a three year old who is crying because he scraped his knee.  We don't tell him to be quiet and stop crying.  We hold him, hug him and let him cry it out, knowing that he will feel better after he does.  The same goes for our own pain.  We will not be able to forgive those who have hurt us if we do not allow ourselves the process of grief.
And like every thing else, it's inner work.
We have to acknowledge and grieve our own pain and not expect others to do that work for us.


Sunday, May 19, 2019

Day 29 - The damselfly

The damselfly/dragonfly took on a special meaning for me in the spring of 2006.
I invite you to follow the following link were I describe in detail why that was.
https://damselflytransformations.com/damselfly-inspiration
After that serendipitous encounter, I began to research the damselfly.  I needed and wanted to know more and what I discovered made this chance meeting all the more meaningful.
The damselfly/dragonfly symbolizes change, emotional maturity, adaptability and self-realization.
It's incredible wings make it the most powerful navigators among all the flying insects.  It can fly in all directions, fly backwards and through rough winds.  For this reason it is associated with direction and purpose through challenging and difficult times.
Damselflies have incredible eye sight.  Each of their two large eyes is made up of thousands of six sided units.  This allows them to have near 360 degree vision, detect the smallest of movements and see the world in ultra-multicolour.  Hence, it's connection to curiosity, mental agility and the ability to view experiences or problems from all angles in order to decide the best approach.
In Japan, the dragonfly is considered a symbol of strength and courage.
An encounter with a damselfly can mean that she is sending you a challenge, to trust in the experience and to open yourself up to what life has to offer.
The way she scurries across water represents the act of going beyond what is on the surface and looking into the more profound meanings and implications of life.
The iridescent nature of the dragonfly holds a magical element.  This characteristic links it to the unmasking of the real self and honouring one's true identity.
After discovering all of this symbolism surrounding the dragonfly, I was humbled and incredibly grateful to have witnessed her transformation.  She has since become my spirit animal and a powerful force in my life.
Two years ago, on a trip to Ecuador, I was lucky enough to witness a huge swarm of dragonflies.  There must have been hundreds if not thousands of them flying in all directions. 
I had never seen anything like it....
Create an awesome day!
Joanne

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Day 26 - Synergy

For those of you who read my blog everyday (thank you for the support), you might have noticed thatI have missed a few days.  I have been giving some thought to my intention in writing this blog.  In order to expand on the ideas I have written about so far and on other subjects of interest in the field of personal growth, I have decided to write once a week.  Not because I don't love reflecting and writing everyday but because I want to allow myself to go deeper into the topics and give you, the reader, a deeper more complete understanding of these ideas.  
I will be expanding on what I call The Four Wings of Personal Growth.  These are self-care, self-love, self-empowerment and self-awareness.
I will expand also on why the Damselfly has taken on such an important role in my own growth, and it's symbolism and meaning in my coaching model.
This blog is written with the intention of supporting myself and others in our journeys towards reaching our full potential.  My hope is that it will support you in your reflections on where you are presently on your journey and give you some tools and strategies allowing you to move in the direction of your goals and aspirations.  It's about inspiring one another and finding our own unique purpose and place in the world.  We all have a purpose in this life.  I believe that purpose is connected to our ability to love and make a positive difference.  No matter how small and insignificant that difference might seem at times.  One person at a time, one small positive change at a time will change things for the better, in unexpected and greater ways then we might think.
It's the power of Synergy : A state in which two or more things (individuals) work together in a particularly fruitful way that produces an effect greater than the sum of their individual effects.
With the power of that synergy in mind, I reach out my hand, to you, dear reader, and invite you to join me in making a difference.
See you on Sundays! :)
Create an awesome day!
Joanne



Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Day 24 - Focus, perception and self-awareness

What we focus on influences our perception of reality.  Check out the following video.
The Monkey Business Illusion
As we focus on counting the passes we can completely miss the Monkey.
How often does this happen in our everyday lives?
What can cause us to "miss the monkey"?
When we walk into a situation, let's say an interaction with another person, we bring to that situation passed emotions, beliefs and thoughts.  These act as filters to how we perceive what is actually happening.
Humans have a natural tendency too look for proof that their beliefs are true.  It's what's called Confirmation Bias.
Our moods can affect how we judge a situation.
When information is missing we often fill in the blanks based on passed experiences.
Now missing a Monkey in a video is no big deal.  Missing essential information when making a decision or interacting with our environment can have huge consequences.
How do we avoid this?  It can be as simple as asking ourselves a few questions.
Here are some examples.
What information am I missing?
How are my beliefs influencing my thoughts and reactions right now?
If I were to look at this situation from a completely different point of view, what would I notice?
What am I feeling right now?  How is that affecting my behaviour and my actions?
Is my current perception helpful, constructive?  Is it 100% accurate?
Where is my focus?
Becoming mindful of where our focus is and how it can be influencing our perceptions is a step towards self-awareness.   And self-awareness is key to making your dreams and goals a reality.
Create an awesome day!
Joanne


Monday, May 13, 2019

Day 23 - Patience

Today I am reflecting on the relevance of patience when moving towards our goals.  Without patience we do not allow ourselves the time necessary to make informed decisions.  We can expect and want things to happen faster then they can or even should.
Impatience is kind of like an anxiety that sets in, that gives us the impression that things should be different then they are.  When we behave and live from a place of patience we:
Give ourselves time to reflect and clear our thoughts.
We allow emotions such as fear and confusion to settle, so that we can better assess where we are.
We allow uncomfortable feelings to be, without judging them or ourselves.
We trust that we have the capability to work through challenging times.
We know that to accomplish or get something we have never had, we will have to develop mindsets and or skills allowing us to do just that.  And we respect that this takes time.
We often hear that getting out of our comfort zone is a good thing. This is because new opportunities and growth exist outside of our areas of familiarity.
It is therefore important to realize that impatience might show up when we are courageous enough to push through what is familiar towards what is unknown.
Create an awesome day!
Joanne

Friday, May 10, 2019

Day 20 - Self-Love

Self-love
I"m guessing that there are people out there who have, and have always had, a clear understanding of what that concept means.  But it took me a while, and a lot of frustration, before I even had a clue.
After my separation, I went through many years....actually what felt like an eternity of very challenging times and experiences.  During that period, well meaning therapists and friends would tell me that I needed to learn to "Love myself".   I'm sure they meant well, but at the time, hearing those words made me want to punch someone. I had no idea what the hell that meant!!!  Ok...Cute...I thought!  I need to love myself?? How in the hell do I do that??
The most relevant reference I had to the idea of "Love" at the time, were very strong feelings I had for a particular individual.   Truth be told, I was involved in a very dysfunctional relationship with someone who was treating me like crap and I was allowing it.  Looking back,  I now know that I was behaving like a co-dependent junky. But, that's kinda what I thought love was.  A feeling of not being able to live without someone.  It was needing someone and not feeling whole or complete without them.  How did I make sense of that in relation to what it meant to "love myself"?
During my quest for answers, I met an individual, who specialized in the area of co-dependancy and relationships.  He pointed out to what extent love songs, encouraged this longing for this type of "love" and how misleading that actually was. (google co-dependant love songs...there are lists of them out there) That kinda resonated with me and I started to seriously question my idea of intimate relationships and how that influenced my beliefs around the concepts of love and self-love.
Then I found this book....
I know, terrible cover isn't it...but it makes a point!!  Reading it, started to shift my understanding of the importance and definition of self-love.   Part of my process, was understanding what "love" was in the first place.  I had often heard or read, that love is a verb, not a noun and not necessarily a feeling.  That seemed very relevant to me but I wasn't sure that I truly understood it.
I distinctly remember a defining moment,  when I had an epiphany about just what loving myself would look like.
I had been feeling disrespected by a certain individual in my life and anger and resentment were starting to set in.   I was debating how to handle it.  Should I talk to this person or just let it go?  That was when the relationship between self-respect and self-love became crystal clear to me.  I knew then that allowing others to disrespect me was a huge act of self-betrayal and it became quite apparent that self-betrayal was not at all in alignment with the concept of "Self-love".
I think I had heard the phrase "Turn the other cheek" one time too many in my catholic upbringing. I had come to believe that the honourable and right thing to do when someone hurt you was to "turn the other cheek".  I'm sure I misunderstood what this phrase actually means.
It became evident to me, that had a responsibility to myself NOT to allow others to disrespect me.  If my child was being bullied, I would defend him.  If a friend was being talked down to or disrespected in any way I would have her back.  So why was I not doing that for myself?  From that point on, setting boundaries for myself, and asserting my right to being respected became not some selfish request but an act of self-love and self-respect that I hold myself accountable for.
When I look back at my journey towards understanding self-love, I am sometimes embarrassed by the mistakes I have made and how confused I was. The road to discovering what self-love is, was not a straight one and I continue on my journey.  But I now know,  that self-respect and expecting to be respected are essential parts of the equation.
Create an awesome day!
Joanne

Thursday, May 9, 2019

Day 19 - Energy

This morning I woke up reflecting on personal growth.  It's a topic that fascinates me and that has been a passion of mine for years.  And it is the fundamental reason I find myself in the coaching business.
At the core of my fascination with personal growth is a belief that we are energy and that we are interconnected through that energy.  Not only to others but to a universal energy.  Or as some call it, a higher consciousness.  This might be a subjective concept.  There is much debate amongst great thinkers and scientists as to the existence of a "higher consciousness", but it is something that I personally and for my own reasons believe in.
There is energy that destroys...lower vibrations that resonate from hate, jealousy, guilt, anger.
There is energy that creates...higher level vibrations that resonate form love, joy, compassion.
We instinctively know and feel this energy but we are not always conscious of it.
We can be in a state of lower vibrational energy and feel its effect in our lives without consciously realizing that this is going on.
Our challenge as humans is to grow towards awareness of how this energy is manifesting within and around us so that we can harness it.  As we learn to harness it, we allow ourselves to move from the lower level vibrations towards the higher level ones.
Solutions and creativity happen from a higher vibrational state of being.
It's not that we should not feel the lower vibrations and emotions that are related.  These indicate that something needs to be addressed.  We are not meant to stay in a state of anger or guilt.  But to identify these feelings because they are an indication of something we need to address or work on in ourselves.
We do not find ourselves in a lower energy state because of something that happened outside of us.  The outside event is the trigger.  But the trigger is there to alert us to the work we have to do within.
When we connect with these higher level energies within ourselves, we start to connect with the matching universal energy and the higher level energies of those around us.  This creates a synergy that exponentially increases the power of that energy.  That's when miracles happen.
That's when solutions are found, problems are resolved, great art is created.  In this state we feel joy, enthusiasm and hope.
Our life's purpose is to learn how to harness the power of these higher vibrations.  As we do we become part of a collective creative potential.  Everything in our lives, everything we experience, is an opportunity to learn how to do just that.
Create an awesome day!
Joanne

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Day 18 - Cause and effect

Woke up this morning to the smell of doggy diarrhea all over the house.  Nice!!  I had not planned on spending the morning cleaning my floors and giving my dog a bath.  But these things happen when you decide to bring a dog into your life.  Yes!! I do feel bad for Caramelle!! 
Now, I have to contain her, to one room until she dries off....and she won't stop whining.  She is a dog!!  She doesn't get that she probably ate something outside and that's what made her sick in the first place.  She doesn't get that now she has to get clean and dry before she can roam around the house again.  She probably doesn't know she has diarrhea!!?? She is a dog.
That's one of the differences between us "humans" and the animal world.  We have the capacity to understand complex cause and effect situations.  It's an awesome gift really! 
Important to remember to use it!!
Create and awesome day!
Joanne

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Day 17 - Boundaries

Often, I get my ideas for what I am going to write about before even getting out of bed.  I think it has something to do with my subconscious mind communicating wisdom to me, in my sleep.
Anyway, this morning setting boundaries came to mind. 
Apparently, my subconscious mind was connected to facebook, because the very first post on my feed when I opened it was:
I know there is a lot of crap on facebook but.....come on!
When the universe sends me a message I listen!
I've written about self-care and being true to oneself.  Setting boundaries is an important part of self-care and essential to respecting who you are.  But it is not easy.
I can attest to how challenging it can be, but the more I do it, the more I realize the sky won't fall on my head when I do.  And the nicer I become. Truly, I believe that when we honour our own limits and needs we become nicer, more loving people.
Yes!! Saying no when you need to can actually make you a better person!
Saying yes, when you really want to say no....well, that can turn you into a resentful bitch!
That doesn't at all mean that we never do things for other people, when it is inconvenient, or that we always do fun pleasant things.  What it means is that we do things because we feel in our hearts and soul that it is the best thing for us and those around us.  The two are not mutually exclusive.
This takes some soul searching, it takes some growing up and it definitely takes some taking responsibility for our own actions and lives.  We might even make some mistakes at times, and say no and then realize maybe yes was the right answer for us.  But, that's part of the learning process.
It is not always better to be safe then sorry!  When it comes to connecting with our "True Self", we will have to take calculated, intelligent risks.
Create an awesome day!
Joanne


Monday, May 6, 2019

Day 16 - Coping strategies


Some days are a bit more difficult than others.  Maybe you're tired, maybe you're stressed about something, maybe you're getting sick.   Even when we are committed to attaining our goals, there is nothing wrong with taking a day simply to take care of "me".
You know the difference between not being motivated and legitimately needing to attend to your needs.
Here is a little resource that can support you in choosing strategies that will benefit you and get you back on track.


Create an awesome day!
Joanne


Sunday, May 5, 2019

Day 15 - Assessing our progress


It is day 15....84 days, is a long time people!!  A friend of mine says, that I sometimes give myself goals that are a little too ambitious.  I don't believe that goals can be too ambitious but they do have to be SMART?  I am wondering were my head was at 15 days ago when I decided to post 7 goals that I wanted to achieve by July.
Here is a update on what has been going on...
Improving my nutrition by cutting out unhealthy carbs - some improvement.  But like I mentioned in another post, not sure I was specific enough on this one and haven't taken the time to get specific.
And that might be a convenient way of putting off actually doing something about it.
Journaling my progress - That I have been doing.  Which is in and of itself pretty cool.  I can't remember the last time I journaled for 15 consecutive days.  And it definitely has helped me hold myself accountable, whether I am on track with my goals or not.
Coaching model - not even close.... worked on it religiously for one hour a day last weekend but have completely slacked off since Monday.
Marketing strategies - I do work on my marketing everyday but not necessarily, one hour a day.
I was talking to a colleague the other day and she spoke of taking the time at the end or at the beginning of the day to create a schedule and write down exactly what has to be done.  Not rocket science it it?  Why haven't I been doing it?  Silly me!!!
The list is prioritized and can include some "if I have extra time items'.  That is something I definitely want to start doing.  As of tonight, I will prepare my schedule for the next day.
Workshop series - I have been on task with this one.  I have probably worked more then one hour a day on this one.  Mostly, because I'm facilitating my workshop next Thursday and it has to be done.
I am and always have been highly motivated by deadlines.
Talk series - I haven't worked an hour on this one.  And in reality, I do not have to prepare a series, just one twenty minute talk.  After, working on it at home for a few hours, I changed my strategy around this one.  I decided to ask a friend to borrow her cottage on a weekend in June, so that I can completely immerse myself in the creative process.  I find that I am very inspired by nature and my intention is to arrive on Friday and leave on Sunday with a finished talk.
Insights and further reflections...

  • How can I make taking care of myself physically a priority?  This includes healthy, eating, rest and exercise.  
  • Daily journaling in this blog has been a huge accountability piece for me.  
  • Setting a schedule, before my day begins is essential other wise I drift through the day without focus.
  • How can I use deadlines to motivate me in other areas of my life? 
  • It's ok to change strategies if necessary.  That doesn't mean giving up on the goal, it means finding a better way to achieve it.  
Create an awesome day.
Joanne

Saturday, May 4, 2019

Day 14 - You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.



This is a quote form Jim Rohn, a entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker.  I don't remember exactly when and in what context I heard these words but I do remember that they very much resonated with me.
I just spent the morning having a conversation with a friend whom I very much respect and admire. She is the type of person who loves to challenge herself.  When she is faced with a less then desirable situation, she has a talent for turning it into a learning experience that allows her to come out the other side, stronger and more determined.
After spending time with her, I always feel energized and motivated.
We might think that spending time with friends, releasing pent up frustrations, is productive.  But more often then not, it just turns into a "bitching session" that depletes our energy.  I have never spent an hour talking about what is wrong in my world and come out feeling better.  And unfortunately, it is something that I have done far too often.  If I am writing about it this morning, it is because it is a behaviour that I can easily fall into and one that I have to intentionally work at changing.
When I am around women, who take responsibility for their lives, and are solutions focused, it motivates me to do the same.
I've read that the people you associate with can determine up to 95% of your success or failure.
One of the areas of self-care we should attend to is "social". 
Surrounding ourselves with women who inspire us to be our best selves is one of the best ways of doing just that. 

Click below for a little inspiration....


Create an awesome day!
Joanne

Friday, May 3, 2019

Day 14 - True Self



A few posts ago, I wrote about self-care.  An entire book could be written on that topic alone.  And I might just do that.  But today, I am going to address, what I think is the foundation from which true self-care must be built.
Identifying and connecting with our "True Self."
Many different terms have been used when speaking of the concept of the "True Self."
Authentic self
Solid self (Bowen,  Human relationship systems theory)
Real self
Original self
Essential nature
Regardless of the term used,  the consensus seems to be that when we are in touch with this part of ourselves, we tend to exhibit the following characteristics more often then not.
  • Having clearly defined personal values.
  • Owning our own moral compass.
  • Openness to advice from others, but ultimately holding ourselves accountable for decisions and actions.
  • Owning a distinct set of principles.
  • Being able to identify personal needs and desires.
  • Being able to use our voice.
The opposite of our "True self" can also have many names : co-dependant, pseudo self, false self...etc.
The pseudo self (Bowen, 1976) seeks validation and approval.  It basically, will merge and enmesh with whomever, in order to justify it's existent and create an identity.
Some of it's go to questions are : "Who do You need and want to be?" "What should I do?" "What should I believe?" "How can you make me happy?"
I strongly believe that we are born with an essential nature.  But from very early childhood our environment molds us and we can easily lose touch with that part of ourselves.
Whether intentionally or not, our families, friends, religion, society etc.... influence our perceptions and beliefs.  These, filters can sway our sense of identity. And if we are not careful, we can start seeing ourselves as others see, or want to see us, instead of going inwards for that clarity and understanding.
In some situations, these influences can be quite damaging. Others do not always have our best interest at heart.  For example, individuals raised by controlling and/or abusive parents will often completely mesh their sense of self with the needs and wants of their abusers.  
But in the end, all of us can get caught up in the web of approval and validation.  Our responsibility, is to identify to what extent we our living from a place of authenticity or not, and how this might be impacting our well being.
We can only attend to our emotional, financial, mental, physical, social and spiritual needs if we have clearly identified what those needs are.  Our "True Self" is our source of guidance and insight into what we need in order to be strong, resilient, courageous and empowered. 
Here are some questions that might help in gaining some clarity around connecting with your authentic self.  There are many others, for sure, but I think these will give you a good starting point. 
  • In what ways was I encouraged to speak my truth? In what ways was I discouraged?
  • What are my values?  Are they my own or have I simply accepted the values of those closest to me without questioning their relevance?
  • Do I take responsibility for my life or do I often blame others for my problems?
  • How comfortable do I feel expressing my thoughts, needs and desires?
  • What are those needs and desires?
"To care for thyself....you must first know thyself."  :)

Create an awesome day!
Joanne 









Thursday, May 2, 2019

Day 13 - Gratitude



Today I've decided to make this post about gratitude.
What am I grateful for?

  • My puppy Caramelle who is sleeping right beside me.
  • My cute house I bought 6 years ago, that still feels like it was built for me.
  • My neighbours who are always there if I need something.
  • My orange car...I love the colour orange.
  • The tulips that are growing in my front yard.
  • My two wonderful sons.
  • My friends. 
  • The fact that I live in a country that has one of the best standards of living.
  • The fact that I am retired and now, can do, what I love, when I want.
  • The beach, water, nature.
  • My strengths.
  • My qualities.
Writing all these things down kind of made me smile!  Maybe I should do it more often.....
What are you grateful for?
Create an awesome day.
Joanne

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Day 12 - One of my Dragons


A few day ago, I wrote about vulnerability, and in that spirit, today, I will tell you one of my stories.
Sometime, in my late twenties, I started asking myself questions.  At that point, I had the husband, the first house, the job and my first baby.  And I was asking myself "Now what/" Can you imagine...at that age, I was already asking "Now What?"  In reality though, it was more then that. It was this sort of uneasy feeling that I just could not shake off.  I kept telling myself that it was just a lack of appreciation for what I had.  But that just didn't seem to satisfy the little voice in my head.   So I set out to try to satisfy the little voice in my head.
I started thinking that maybe doing more of what I enjoyed was part of the answer.
So first questions:
What do I love doing?
Hmmm...I had always wanted to take dance lessons?  Truthfully ever since I was a little girl I had dreamt of being either a figure skater or a dancer.  Remember "The Solid Gold Dancers"?  I wanted to be one of them.
So I enrolled in a dance school nearby and spent two years taking jazz and ballet classes.  Here I am with one of my dance troops.  Not exactly "The Solid Gold Dancers" but, hey I had a blast and actually got to dance on a stage.



That was also about the time, I found my copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale.  It had been hiding in a box or closet ever since it had been gifted to me by one of my grade 13 teachers. Sad to say, but, because I had received it from an adult, and I was a too cool teenager...I figured it was probably educational and/or boring and I had never even opened it.
But...as fate would have it, I happened upon it at a relevant time in my life.  You know what they say..."When the student is ready...the book will appear!"  Ok, I might have modified that saying a bit to suit my purposes but you get the point.
That was THE book that got me interested in every piece of literature that dealt with personal growth, self-help (which I think gets a really bad rap!!!) and spirituality.
Then life continued, I had my second baby.  I actually got pregnant just a few months after that picture was taken.  We moved into a bigger house and my days and weeks were filled with working, being a mother and taking care of our home.  I did not give much thought to that uneasy feeling I had felt in my late twenties.  I was busy and content.  All was good...
Then, something happened in my mid thirties that would reopen that self-discovery can of worms (yes sometimes self-discovery can feel like opening a can of worms!!!) and become an important turning point in my life.
I had been working on a project with a group of teachers and we were being led by one of the board consultants.  I didn't know this particular consultant very well, other then having seen her at few work related functions.  But she had always struck me as being very zen and intelligent.  Not sure why, it was just an aura she gave off.
During the time this project was going on, she would come to school on a regular basis and one day, out of the blue, she walks into my classroom, grabs a chair, and sits at my desk.  I just looked at her thinking maybe she wanted to talk about the project...had I done something wrong? was I being canned from the project?  was she going to tell me I was an awesome team member?
"Joanne...why are you angry?" ...those were the actual words that came out of her mouth.  There might of been a sooooo in there somewhere but I didn't want to exaggerate the story given that I don't quite remember if there was.
Remember, this woman had a very zen aura about her, so I was not so much offended by her question as I was stunned and surprised.  The interesting thing is that the first thing that came out of my mouth was....
"I'm not angry.  I have a good life. I have a job I like, two wonderful boys and a husband I love."  Not sure what that had to do with me being angry or not but it seemed relevant at the time.
Was I getting an opportunity to gain some insight into that uneasy feeling I had first felt in my late twenties?   She suggested I try therapy and I thought...Wow...this woman really thinks there is something wrong with me??   Then, we both stood up and she gave me a hug.   I wasn't much of a hugger at that point in my life.  It felt awkward and uncomfortable to me.  But, there was something very compassionate about the way this woman spoke and the hug she gave me seemed authentic and caring.
After she left, I just sat there, kind of in a state of chock.  But because of the way she had shared her thoughts with me, I couldn't help but consider that she might have seen something in me that I hadn't seen in myself. Something real and important....maybe one of my Own dragons. Those who have read my, The Dragons in Our Way story will understand this.
That day was the beginning of an exciting, sometimes very scary journey of self discovery for me.  One that I continue on today.
I hope that if we met today, my consultant friend would find I have changed.  I know that the uneasy feeling is gone.  I know anger is no longer my go to emotion.  Now most days are filled with appreciation, enthusiasm and peace. Most days....
I am guessing this woman has no idea how instrumental she was in my life.  Maybe I will write to her and let her know......

Create an awesome day!
Joanne